Turning Revolving-Door Romance into Lasting Love
August 12, 2002
With these two books, the publisher enters the self-help arena, and the results are disappointing. The usually sound Leman (Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing Them Down) misfires here. In the book's first half, he stresses the importance of individual birth order and personality type (sanguine, melancholic, phlegmatic, and choleric) in defining one's true self. He then contradicts those arguments for predisposition by claiming, "You are the way you are because of the choices you have made in response to your surrounding environment." Leman would like readers "to rethink everything [they've] been doing," but he doesn't explain why. Vaguely Christian in tone, the book lacks anything practical and is filled with fluffy anecdotes about celebrities, e.g., Charlton Heston is presented as a typical first born. Not recommended. Best-selling Christian author Harley's work is similarly superficial. The titular metaphor characterizes people in relationships. Freeloaders are "only willing to give and receive care if it comes almost effortlessly." " 'Renters' are willing to improve their ability to care as long as it is in their best interest to do so." "Buyers [are] committed to providing exclusive and permanent care in a romantic relationship." This scheme takes the author (His Needs, Her Needs) only so far; while clever enough for a little while, the book ultimately dehumanizes and oversimplifies complex human relationships. Pass.
Copyright 2002 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.